Strategic networking for people who hate networking.
- Laure Golly
- Oct 21
- 4 min read
Updated: 14 hours ago
I am more comfortable on stage in front of 200 people than networking one-on-one with strangers afterwards. Most people find it odd but here is what I have learned: you do not have to be good at traditional networking to succeed.
You need to be strategic about how you build relationships. This is not about avoiding networking entirely. It is about being strategic about which networking activities actually work for you and which ones you force yourself through because you think you should.
Why traditional networking is not for everyone.
Most networking advice assumes everyone operates the same way. Work the room. Collect business cards. Follow up with everyone. Attend every event. Always say yes. This advice works brilliantly for extroverts. For introverts, it is exhausting and often ineffective.
The problem is not that we cannot network. Many introverts are actually quite good at it. I can work a room. I can do small talk. People often tell me I seem naturally comfortable at events.
But being capable at something does not mean it energises you. And when you are building a business or career long-term, doing things that drain you is not sustainable.
The strategic approach to networking.
Strategic networking starts with honest assessment. Not what you think you should be doing, but what actually works for you.
Ask yourself the same questions I ask clients when we work on strategy:
What are your actual strengths in building relationships?
Where do you create the most value in conversations?
Where do your best client relationships actually come from?
What activities drain your energy without producing results?
When I mapped this for myself, the pattern was clear. My strongest professional relationships came from deep one-on-one conversations, speaking engagements, writing and referrals. Very few came from traditional networking events where I worked the room.
So I built a business development approach around what actually worked, not what I thought I should be doing.
What strategic networking looks like in practice.
Strategic networking means designing your approach around your strengths rather than forcing yourself into a model that does not fit.
Lead with your strengths.
If you are better at writing than small talk, write. If you prefer presenting to groups rather than mingling, speak. If you thrive in structured conversations rather than casual chitchat, create or join formats that give you structure.
For me, this meant prioritising thought leadership, speaking and more intimate formats over traditional large networking events. I share insights through writing and speaking, which attracts people who resonate with how I think. The relationships that form from this foundation are stronger because they start with alignment.
Choose quality over quantity.
Introverts often excel at deep conversations. Use that. Three meaningful conversations with the right people create more value than surface-level interactions with thirty people you will never speak to again.
When I do attend networking events, I set a clear goal. Usually something like "I will have three meaningful conversations before I leave"(Five, if I am feeling bold that day). That focus gives me permission to skip the exhausting "work the entire room" approach that never felt natural anyway.
Protect your energy like you protect your budget.
Energy is a finite resource. Strategic networking means being deliberate about how you spend it.
This looks different for everyone, but for me it means no back-to-back networking events and building in recovery time. I am also strategic about which invitations I accept rather than saying yes to everything.
Play to relationship-building formats that suit you.
Not all networking happens at networking events. Some of the strongest professional relationships form through:
Collaborative projects where you work together on something meaningful:
Speaking on panels or at events where shared context creates natural conversation.
Online communities where you can contribute thoughtfully without the pressure of real-time small talk.
One-on-one coffee meetings where depth is expected.
Writing that demonstrates your thinking and attracts aligned people.
Leverage your network strategically.
One approach that works remarkably well is the extrovert buddy system. Partner with someone who naturally works rooms and enjoys making introductions. They break the ice and expand your reach. You provide depth and strategic thinking where you shine. Everyone benefits.
Follow up in your comfort zone.
The event itself is just the beginning. The real relationship builds in the follow-up. And follow-up can happen however works best for you.
Email. LinkedIn messages. Scheduled calls. Coffee meetings. Whatever format lets you show up as your best self rather than forcing small talk energy you do not have.
Succeeding with strategic networking.
The business model I built amplifies what energises me and minimises what drains me. I focus on thought leadership, strategic conversations, and speaking.
This does not mean I avoid networking entirely. I still attend events. I still meet new people. But I am strategic about which events, how I show up, and how I build from those initial connections.
This is what strategic alignment looks like in practice. The same principle I help clients apply to themselves or their businesses, I applied to building my own.
