Networking for people who hate networking.

I am more comfortable on stage in front of 300 people than networking one-on-one with strangers afterwards. Most people find that odd. I used to as well, until I stopped trying to fix it and started working with it instead.

You do not have to be good at "traditional" networking to build strong professional relationships. You have to be strategic about which activities actually work for you and honest enough to stop doing the ones you force yourself through because you think you should.

The problem with standard networking advice.

Most of it assumes everyone operates the same way. Work the room, collect business cards, attend every event, always say yes. For extroverts, this works. For everyone else, it is exhausting and often ineffective.

The problem is not that introverts cannot network. Many are quite good at it. I can work a room, I can do small talk. People often tell me I seem naturally comfortable at events.

Being capable at something does not mean it energises you.

And when you are building a business or a career over the long term, doing things that drain you is not a strategy, it's attrition territory.

Start with an honest audit.

Before tactics, ask one question: where do your best professional relationships actually come from?

When I mapped this for myself, the pattern was clear. My strongest relationships came from deep one-on-one conversations, speaking engagements, writing my perspectives, and network referrals. Very few came from events where I worked the room.

So I built around what worked, instead of what I assumed I should be doing.

What that looks like in practice.

If you are better at writing than small talk, write. If you prefer presenting to groups over mingling, speak. If you thrive in structured conversations rather than casual ones, create formats that give you structure.

For me this meant prioritising thought leadership, speaking, and more intimate settings. I share perspectives through writing and speaking, which attracts people who already resonate with how I think. The relationships that form from that starting point tend to go somewhere.

When I do attend networking events, I give myself a clear goal: three meaningful conversations before I leave. Five, if I am feeling bold that day. That focus gives me permission to stop when I have delivered on it, rather than grinding through the whole room.

Not all networking happens at networking events.

Some of the strongest professional relationships form through collaborative projects, panel conversations, one-on-one coffee meetings, or sharing how you think and draws in likeminded people.

Find the platforms that work for you.